I was approached by someone to do a podcast with me as a co-host. We have not gotten this off the ground yet, and this has made me very frustrated. How do I let him know that I am moving forward without him? And/or how long is too long to wait for him to get his shit together?

Dear Frustrated Soon-To-Be Podcaster

First, congratulations on your upcoming project! 

Second, congratulations on knowing for certain this is a project you whole-heartedly want to participate in because if you weren’t into it, you wouldn’t care it has yet to begin.

Now, let’s get to the meat of the matter. From my bird’s eye perspective and not being entangled in the nitty-gritty details of your matter, I present this potential solution: 

Let him know how excited you are to begin working on this project. Ask if you can put a date on the calendar that will be your start date. If he resists committing to a date, ask how far out into the future he anticipates being able to begin the work. If he is unable to pick a date, let him know you will be starting this project on your own. P.S. the end. 

But that’s too easy, right? Let’s look into the more complicated side of things. 

If he can’t set a date, I would place my bets on this never happening. You know when you run into that one friend, and you always leave the conversation off with a heartfelt, “I’ll email you, and we can put a date on the calendar to hang out!” Well, unless you both bust out your calendars and commit right then and there, chances are slim to none that a hang out will occur. 

Then there is the issue of the spirit being willing but the flesh being weak. Having a podcast is no joke. There is a ton of work behind producing one. Your (potential) co-host may genuinely want to do this project with you but lack the time to make it happen. Or, he may not realize the time it takes anything in his life to happen. If this is the case, this podcast is most likely not the only thing he’s not following through to completion. What I am saying here is this may not be about you or the podcast. It may be more about his ability to manage his time. And if this is the case, you may want to reconsider if you can comfortably depend on someone who may not be as conscientious in the ways that will give the podcast a chance to succeed. You may be seeing a warning sign that is arriving pre-hindsight. Heed and proceed with caution. 

You ask about moving on without him. And if I pull your specific sentence apart, you actually wrote (out of context), “I am moving forward without him”. Very telling if you ask me, which you are asking me. So I am telling you to look to see if you really need him to co-host with you. What will he bring to the table? How will he flavor the show? Is waiting for him to get his shit together creating an excuse for you to also not begin? Might you start the show and then, when and if he’s ready, he can come on as your “new” co-host? Either way, you’ll have your show, which, if I read between the lines, it sounds like you really want. 

What’s the expression? Time waits for no man. I’m changing that to the following expression: 

Your podcast should wait for no man! 

Be polite, get a read on his timing, then move full speed ahead to do what you want to do, with or without him. So often we give up parts of ourselves to accommodate others. You sound like a creative go-getter. I’d hate to learn one day, via another question you submit years from now where you wonder how you can find yourself again, that you put all of your hopes and dreams on hold for this guy. 

Go forth and do whatcha wanna do when you wanna do it!