Difficult for me when I cared for my parents was NOT listening to others, regardless of how well intentioned their comments (or denials) were. Having never been in the role of a caregiver, I did a great deal of second guessing myself. Were symptoms really as bad as they seemed? Was I invading my parent's privacy? Was it now time that I parented my parent? I knew what was happening, I knew to trust my instincts, but the more I doubted myself, the more I questioned others. I had to realize others were not on the front lines and also at different levels of acceptance of the illnesses.
Sometimes the people we love want to be supportive by telling us that the doctors can in fact reverse the fatal disease, or that our care will get out of hospice - alive (?!?!?!) Learning to consult and trust those on my medical team, coupling that information with what I was seeing day to day and taking the sum of those two factors as my guidepost was very beneficial in quieting the noise from others and allowed for less deliberation in proceeding with treatments and, when the time came, palliative care.
It is easy to get wrapped up in the noise of our own doubts and of other's opinions. A caregiver's day moves at warp speed. Taking a moment to stop and quiet all the noises can seem impossible or even indulgent. When you find yourself spinning in the doubtful thought tornado, stop. Create a moment of quiet. Only in the quiet will you hear your inner voice telling what you know you need to do. Breathe. Deeply. In. And. Out. Repeat. Trust in yourself, listen to your inner voice. Be guided by your voice of truth.